Get Off My Course! High School Golfer Is Attacked And Chased Off Golf Hole By VERY Irate Goose

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Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Note:  Are >you Bianca??


By the Numbers:

Days `til Yom Kippur:


Days `til the bankruptcy law takes effect:


Days `til Laylat al-Qadr:


Number of bills Franklin Roosevelt vetoed:


Number of bills George W. Bush has vetoed:


Number of times C&J has vetoed peas at dinnertime:



Your Puppy Pic of the Day  "Hey, get over here and scratch my back with this thing."


CHEERS to being, like...out there.  Today is National Coming Out Day and there's a lot of reasons to feel fabulous:

In the 1980s the average gay came out in college.  Today it is in high school, and gay-straight alliances are springing up in high schools across the country...

Same-sex couples are also becoming more visible.  According to the 2000 census gay and lesbian couples live in 99.3 percent of all counties nationwide. The census also found that there are at least 1 million children in this country being raised by same-sex couples.

There are more than 1 million gay and lesbian veterans in the U.S. the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network says. And, nearly half of all Fortune 500 companies offer domestic-partner health benefits according to the Human Rights Campaign.  

Go ahead...tell me again how it's "just a phase."

JEERS to the year of the disaster.  In the last 12 months we've had a catastrophic tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands, category 5 hurricanes that have killed thousands, and now a horrifying earthquake in Asia that has killed tens of thousands.  So naturally Pat Robertson says it's all a prelude to Jesus's imminent arrival.  Perhaps you could wipe that smirk off your face, Reverend, and inform our Savior that we have something on this planet called THE DOORBELL.

CHEERS to Al in '08. (via Raw Story)  U.S. News says that Gore might be eyeing a run for the White House, to which we say, "Bring him on."  But please...leave the dramatic sighs at home.

JEERS to the basement dweller-in-chief.  George W. Bush's poll numbers remain in Nixonville.  Over the weekend the talking heads on TV feebly suggested that perhaps a

BOLD NEW TAX CODE OVERHAUL would make people forget all about Iraq, the economy, cronyism, DeLay, Frist, Abramoff, Libby, Rove, Avian flu, the response to Katrina, gas prices, heating oil prices, spiraling debt, soaring health care costs and the looming Krispy Kreme shortage.  Sounds like a slam dunk to us.

CHEERS to justice...the Maine way.  One thing you do NOT do in Maine is steal somebody's lobsters.  Well, a couple of dunderheads did just that and they got caught.  Soon they'll discover that a lobster's crusher claw can exert a force of (this is true) 1,180 pounds per square inch.  Hope you guys were done having kids.

JEERS to what we ain't got.  Germany is poised to have its first female chancellor, thanks to something unseen in American politics recently called---oh, what's the term again---power sharing.  I wonder what that's like.  It sounds wunderbar.

CHEERS to the College of Inky, Blinky and Clyde.  There are now apparently  50 or so American colleges and universities offering courses or majors in video games.  Finally, the reason I've been looking for to continue my secondary education.

CHEERS to the sanctity of marriage (with one or two minor bumps).  Happy Anniversary to Bill and Hillary Clinton---hitched on October 11, 1975 in Fayetteville, Arkansas.  Dear lord, please don't let the gift for the 30th year be tobacco.

CHEERS to late-night fun.  On this date in 1975, Saturday Night Live aired for the first time with guest host George Carlin.  Which reminds me...I wonder how Francisco Franco's doing these days.

JEERS to The End.  The Red Sox are officially out of the race.  In fairness, it's only because our sense of good sportsmanship prevents us from hogging the glory.  Next year: no mercy.

CHEERS to strong women.  Today is Eleanor Roosevelt's 121st birthday.  Like Hillary, she didn't confine herself to picking out White House china patterns; she served as U.S. Delegate to the United Nations...and Good Luck Margarine spokesperson.  Pay your respects to the old gal here.  And take comfort in knowing she could hog tie Laura in a vat of Jello and make her squeal in 5 seconds flat.

CHEERS to becoming one with the La-Z-Boy.  On today's DVD release schedule: Ridley Scott's Crusades epic Kingdom of Heaven, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, and a comedy called Kicking and Screaming.  I assume it has something to do with the Harriett Miers nomination.


One Year Ago in C&J: October 11, 2004...

CHEERS to Linda Grabel.  She participant at Friday's Bush/Kerry debate by asking the president to talk about his biggest mistakes.  As he wandered through his response, the real answer finally seeped out:  "I'm human."

JEERS to the Rule of Three.  Janet Leigh.  Rodney Dangerfield.  And now Christopher Reeve is dead at 52.  Guys lived vicariously through his feats of strength as Superman.  Women swooned over his performance in `Somewhere in Time.'  And we all marveled at his battle with paralysis.  He gets the last word:  "We must pursue research on embryonic stem cells."


And just one more...

CHEERS to great moments in automotive design.  VW may have won the Pentagon-sponsored robot car race, but our research money is on this road warrior, made up entirely of Legos.  Wouldn't want to drive it, but I'd pay good money to see the crash test videos.

Floor's open.  What are you cheering and jeering about today?


Today's Shameless Testimonial:

"The jeweled bra Bill in Portland Maine wore while promoting Cheers and Jeers was taken off an eBay charity auction when a staffer decided it broke the Web site's policy of not selling used undergarments.  The policy is aimed at keeping away people with an underwear fetish.  But eBay said the bra should've been listed as an entertainment collectible, not in the bra category.  So, now the bra is back up for bid. At last check the top bid was more than $32,000."

--NBC 10/Philadelphia10/10/05


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